Kirkpatrick, L. A. (2001, June). Classifying altruistic relationships and the theoretical problem of mutual altruism in mating relationships and friendships. Poster presented at the annual meeting of the Human Behavior and Evolution Society, London.

Abstract

People in close friendships and romantic/mating relationships appear to engage in mutually altruistic behavior out of genuine concern for each other’s welfare, an observation that is difficult to explain in terms of either of the two traditional evolutionary theories of  altruism (viz., kin selection and reciprocity/social exchange). Numerous theories in the social-psychological literature implicitly or explicitly place mating relationships and close friendships in the same category as kin relations -- e.g., as "communal" (Clark & Mills, 1979) or "attachment" (Hazan & Shaver, 1987) relationships -- in contrast to exchange relationships.  Others (e.g., Batson, 1983) see mutual altruism between mates and between friends as a variant of reciprocity/social exchange, in contrast to kin-based altruism.  Tooby & Cosmides (1996) suggest that the "deep engagement" evident in friendships (as well as, I argue, in mating relationships) might represent a third distinct category, in which altruism is adaptive to the extent that one’s own welfare is somehow yoked to that of another.  Thus there at least 3 different ways of categorizing altruism: (1) exchange vs. kin/friends/mates; (2) exchange (including friends/mates) vs. kin; and (3) exchange vs. kin vs. a third category (e.g., "yoked welfare").  I suggest that all three of these classification systems provide useful insights into the nature of altruism, depending on whether the level of analysis concerns ultimate adaptive function, proximal functions or mechanisms, or vehicles of inclusive fitness.
 

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